Life as a small business owner can leave you feeling overwhelmed. You wear many different hats – leader, marketer, customer service rep, and sometimes even the office barista! This dedication is what fuels your achievements, but going all-out all the time can leave you feeling burnt out. 

The key to a fulfilling and harmonious life, especially for busy entrepreneurs, is to find a balance between commitments, passions, and well-being. Sometimes you end up saying ‘yes’ to everything to please everyone, but this can leave you drained and sap your enthusiasm. While connections are important, so is self-care. In this post I explore how you can achieve balance and find space to breathe through the power of ‘yes’ and ‘no’ .

‘Yes’ or ‘no’?

Mastering these simple words is fundamental to setting healthy boundaries and creating breathing space. It’s not always easy; but it can be a wonderful journey of self-discovery, where you learn to navigate your comfort zone and find the sweet spot between empowerment through ‘yes’ and protection through ‘no’.

“The oldest, shortest words - 'yes' and 'no' - are those which require the most thought.”

Pythagoras 

Healthy boundaries 

Running a small business is exciting, and opportunities can come at you fast. Saying yes feels good. It opens doors, fuels collaboration, and makes us feel well-liked. Humans are social animals; we innately crave connection and saying yes can feel like the ultimate social strategy for belonging.   

While saying ‘yes’ feels effortless, a firm ‘no’ on the other hand can feel hostile. It clashes with our desire to connect making us feel uncomfortable, even vulnerable. However, constantly saying ‘yes’ can backfire. We can get stretched thin, stressed, and the quality of our work suffers.  

A well-placed ‘no’ is a cornerstone of effective time management. It frees up space for focused work and prioritizes what truly matters. ‘No’ isn’t rejection, it’s empowerment. It allows you to deliver excellence, not mediocrity.  

Early in my career, I learned this lesson the hard way. Eager and ambitious, I attended a business startup course where the course leader, a seasoned entrepreneur, warned I wouldn’t succeed because I couldn’t say ‘no’. Undeterred, I went ahead and launched my first business (creating bespoke clothing). But he was right. I struggled to say ‘no’ to clients; and as a result of over-promising and under-delivering my business crashed and burned. 

Four glistening, wet pebbles, stacked in a pyramid, rest on a sandy beach at the water's edge.

Be intentional 

So, how do you confidently navigate ‘yes’ and ‘no’ to protect your time and energy and fuel your business growth?  

The answer lies in intentional decision-making. When you have a clear vision of your goals, values, and what truly matters to you, knowing when to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ becomes easier. You’ll naturally gravitate towards opportunities that align with your purpose, leading to a thriving business and a happier you.  

Here’s how to find your ‘yes’ and ‘no’ flow:

  • Know your bandwidth: define your boundaries and communicate them clearly. What projects can you realistically handle without sacrificing quality or customer service? 
  • Play to your strengths: seek opportunities that leverage your (and your team’s) unique skills and passions. This fuels productivity and keeps everyone engaged. 
  • Align with your vision: before you say yes, ask yourself: Does this opportunity directly contribute to our business goals and values? Does it deserve a precious spot in my/our schedule? 

Master the art of ‘no’

However, even though intentional decisions guide you to powerful ‘no’s’, sometimes putting the theory into practice can still feel hard. Here are my tips for a graceful decline:

  • Reflect: think about situations where saying ‘no’ would be helpful. When do you feel pressured to agree?
  • Write it out: express your thoughts and feelings freely. Jot down exactly what you want to communicate in those situations.
  • Practice makes perfect: rehearse your response in front of a mirror. How does it sound?
  • Level-up: role-play with a friend or mentor who won’t back down easily. This will help you get valuable feedback and prepare for real-life scenarios. 
  • Start small, build your confidence: decline small requests politely. Need to focus on a tight deadline? Explain you’re swamped but can chat later. These small wins build confidence for bigger ‘no’s’ later. 
  • Don’t fear rejection: potential partners or clients are often understanding. Talk it out with a trusted colleague if you’re worried.
  • Consider a positive referral: can you refer them to someone else who might be a better fit? This builds goodwill and strengthens your network. 
  • The art of the gracious ‘no’: when declining, express gratitude for their interest and explain your current focus. Offer to connect them down the line if things change.

Remember, it’s okay to take time before responding to requests. If saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ right away feels difficult, let the person know you’ll get back to them after some thought. 

Trust yourself

If you’re still unsure where to begin then trust in yourself. Pay attention to your emotions; deep down, we all have a quiet voice whispering wisdom – our intuition. It might be a gut feeling, a hunch, or a simple ‘yes’ that resonates deeply with your values and goals. This internal compass goes beyond logic, sparking a physical and emotional feeling of rightness that propels you towards your purpose.  

But how do we tap into this inner wisdom? Here’s the secret: quiet self-reflection. Take time to listen to your body’s signals, your thoughts, feelings and even your physical sensations. It’s an intuition check: how does each option (yes or no) make you feel in your gut? Be honest with yourself, acknowledging any limitations. After all, honesty is valued by others too. By following these steps, you’ll transform from feeling overwhelmed to empowered. You’ll confidently say ‘yes’ to the right things, protecting your time and energy, paving the way for a fulfilling life and thriving business. 

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” 

– Warren Buffet –

Contented customers

Learning to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ effectively is not only good for your peace of mind and well-being, but it also shows you value your customers. It allows you to focus on what matters: truly understanding their needs. This leads to clear expectations, top-notch work, and happy clients. It also frees you to deliver on time, every time.  

Think quality over quantity. By saying ‘no’, you avoid burnout and ensure excellent service. This builds trust and fosters long-term partnerships, which benefits everyone.  

Plus, you avoid the ‘yes, but‘ trap. Unrealistic promises lead to frustrated clients. Nobody wins. I’ve been there. In terms of customer service, saying yes to everything seems easier; but trust me, setting boundaries builds trust and loyalty. 

Saying ‘no’ is about saying ‘yes’ to better client experiences. 

Final thoughts

Remember, setting boundaries isn’t selfish, it’s the foundation for a fulfilling life. By saying ‘no’ with kindness, you empower yourself to live your dreams and give your best to everything that matters. So embark on this journey of self-discovery, celebrate your progress, and watch your confidence soar and your business thrive! 

A hand drline drawing of a

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Simone Clarkin of allo coaching is looking out towards the sea wearing a dark blue jacket and holding an blue umbrella. In the background a promenade and beach can be seen.

About Simone 

As a life and leadership coach with a Master’s degree and 30+ years of experience (including building an award-winning small business), I help overwhelmed small business owners achieve breakthrough results through the power of group coaching. 

To find out more about how I might help go to my website or email me at info@allo-coaching.co.uk.